Connecting with Baby: Slowing down and observing

Babies' earliest physical experiences in the first three months of life set the brain and body system foundations for emotional regulation. Brain plasticity lasts a lifetime, and it is never too late to develop emotional regulation. However, these first three months are a great window of opportunity for cultivating self-confidence and self-worth from birth.

How we first do this by supporting physical needs and watching babies’ behaviours closely. In these first three months, babies must maintain balance in their body systems (homeostasis). Their calm nervous system (called the para-sympathetic system) is just starting to develop, and this is why we need to respond gently and calmly in a timely way to our baby’s earliest physical behaviours (brain neurons that fire together and wire together).

SLOW DOWN 1: A gift from the heart - It takes about 16 times longer for babies to process information than us adults! When we slow down and observe our baby's behaviours, we give them and ourselves the true gift of being in the present moment.

SLOW DOWN 2 -Emotional connection. We are, at our core, emotional beings. Slowing down involves engaging in exaggerated baby talk, allowing for pauses and responses. This helps babies immeasurably –creating space to express their innate social capabilities to connect emotionally with us.

SLOW DOWN 3! – Deep focus Did you know that babies can regulate the level and amount of social stimulation to which they are subjected? When we slow down, watch/comment on the baby’s gaze and WAIT until their gaze shifts, we provide the environment for babies to learn to focus intently without interruptions and distractions.

Babies can regulate the amount of stimulation they receive using their gaze, which is the start of developing their innate independence and autonomy. As babies have little control over their body movements yet, they CAN control where they look. When we slow down, it gives them a chance to regulate where they look and for how long.

All this attention to baby’s body movements, sounds and eyes give the message that their new changing environment is safe and this new world is where they feel loved and special, the keys to emotional regulation and self-worth.

And remember, you're already good enough

Robyn J Ball